Unstoppable! So We Think.
Pots banging, doors slamming, water splashing, this was the scene in my kitchen last night when I found myself in a mood. Frustrated and disappointed, I missed another deadline. It’s like the hours in the day had flown by and my deadline was long gone. It was already dinner time. The completion goal that I set (and nobody else knew about) had me captivated and held prisoner, again. Here we go, a familiar place, yet again I had put unrealistic expectations upon myself and then when I didn’t meet those expectations it was everybody else’s fault. With a long sigh, I turned the stove on and began cooking dinner....
Taking small steps over a period of time adds up to big leaps forward in the end.
How often do we find ourselves defeated, beat up from pressures and unrealistic expectations that we put upon ourselves? Whether it’s a deadline or pedestal of comparison, we can set up for major let downs when we put ourselves in positions that are less optimal and never really in-line with what we’ve ultimately been asked to do. It’s called the overachiever syndrome. Do you suffer from this?
Raising my hand high and waving way over here.
I know I do. Man, that thing can be dark and ugly when it rears itself up within. I have found that taking small steps over a period of time adds up to big leaps forward in the end.
Why do I keep going for the big leap?
It’s like the toddler that wants to run before they walk or crawl. They flop right down on their diapered bottom and then have the nerve to cry and scream about it.
Slow down! I keep telling myself. Small steps, my friend.
To the woman that shuffles between multiple hats by the hour; mom, wife, sister, daughter, CEO, friend, leader…yes, you are amazing! Yes, you can do many things. But, can I tell you a secret? You are only as good as the God within. He’s the one who gives strength and provides guidance to follow and not the wonder within your womanhood.
What really makes us unstoppable is the living God within.
Perhaps we have so much confidence that we think we really are wonder women sometimes. All it takes is a few amazing girlfriends and our hubby to speak positive whispers of life and words of affirmation into us, or our favorite podcast to build our confidence and we feel like we can go out and conquer the world. That is until we find ourselves held back by our own human limitations or flat on our backs (again) in burn out.
What really makes us unstoppable is the living God within.
While I bring some humor to or shine a light on a very real issue that so many ambitious women face, this cannot be taken lightly. I’ve lost track of how many women I have spoken two over the past year that have suffered from anxiety attacks, weight gain, chest pain, dizziness, hair loss, sleep deprivation, or fatigue due to overwhelmed and overloaded schedules.
When does it stop?
When do we say enough?
We can manage many things but, we cannot seem to manage our own ambition and internal wonder woman.
It’s here that I hope to offer reflections into healing from the side effects of overachiever syndrome for ambitious women all over the world today.
Reflections:
Be more aware of my own shortfalls or limitations.
It’s a working progress. In my own reflection, I know that I have a competitive nature and I know I can be quite ambitious sometimes.
Wisdom comes in being aware and leveraging this part of my character when it’s appropriate and then knowing when it’s time to turn it off.
What can be perceived as a strength can quickly and humbly turn into a weakness if not managed.
What are some of your shortfalls and limitations? How can you manage them wisely?
Prioritize ways to incorporate rest and restoration into my everyday.
Yes, make time daily for rest and restoration of your mind, body, and spirit. Pray, take a bath, take a walk, go sit in your car, do what's necessary to rest your mind and to center your thoughts.
For me this is tea time and when I break out my journal. It’s prayer time in the early morning hours. It’s closing the computer screen and going to take a jog.
However it may look for you, dedicate these prioritized moments to capture thoughts racing through your head and emotions filling you up inside. Allow these special minutes in your every day to slow you down and be a safe space for release.
How can you find these precious minutes within your day? What needs to happen in order for rest and restoration to be a daily practice in your life?
Share my projects, timeline, and calendar with someone else other than myself.
Share the details of your day (your week) with someone that cares about you and your well-being. I mean seriously, why don’t we do this? Why keep it bottled up as if we have to know and do it all?
Perhaps we’re embarrassed or deep down inside we know our work and life plans are a bit ambitious. By telling someone our plan we have to face the reality of our syndrome. We have to invite others to help. We might be challenged to rethink our plan and better align it with our abilities and reality.
This all could be a good thing.
Who will you share your schedule and list of obligations with? How can you prepare your heart and attitude to receive honest (and maybe hurtful) feedback from those that care about you?
What can be perceived as a strength can quickly and humbly turn into a weakness if not managed.
Feeling overwhelmed? Do you need community and support?
I’d like to personally invite you to join Women That Lead, a support group of ambitious woman that want to lead well at home, in the community, and within industry. Through webinars with experts, weekly round table chats, and resources, this new group develops you personally and professionally, giving you the support needed to pursue your endeavors. Register now and give it a try. We’d love to have you!
I write this knowing that my daughter is watching.
Like so many young girls similar, we want a generation of girls to see women that are ambitious and healthy, strong and wise, knowing that our strength comes from within and not in our own abilities to do all things. I write this so that she (they) will grow up knowing that she is enough.
We are enough!
Cheering you on!
Sharnell Weathersby
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